TODD AND PENELOPE AT THE TABLE A SCENE FOR YOU TO REVISE BY DAVE CHAPMAN A dining room. A middle aged man, TODD, enters the room and sits. After a moment, a woman of similar age, PENELOPE enters the room. TODD I was waiting for you. PENELOPE You were waiting for me? I'm sorry. I'm here. TODD Would you like to sit? PENELOPE You prefer to carry on our conversations sitting down. I don't really want to, but for your sake, I'll sit. She sits. TODD Thank you for taking my feelings into account. PENELOPE I always try to do that. You said we should talk. What about? TODD How was your day? PENELOPE Is that what you want to talk about? TODD Right now it is. PENELOPE My day has been good. It didn't start that way. I was angry after the argument we had this morning, so I decided to take my mind off of it by working out at the gym. I met a lovely older woman there. Her name was Nancy Baldwin. She told me all about her nephew, who just moved to the city and is staying with her while he looks for his own place. We ended up having lunch together. TODD You and the nephew? PENELOPE No, me and Nancy. The nephew wasn't there. Anyway, the rest of the day was good. I had a good day at work. No one was mean to me today. TODD I'm glad to hear it. PENELOPE How was your day? TODD It was fine. We had an argument this morning? PENELOPE Yes. TODD I don't think I realized we were arguing. What was it about? PENELOPE I don't remember. It doesn't matter anyway. TODD Okay. PENELOPE Was my day really all you wanted to talk about? TODD No. I also wanted to ask you for a favor. PENELOPE What kind of favor? TODD I'd like for my mother to come live with us. PENELOPE Oh. For how long? TODD Permanently, I guess. As long as she's alive. PENELOPE If that's what you want. TODD Are you sure? PENELOPE Of course. I've always liked your mother. TODD She can sleep in the guest room. PENELOPE She's stayed there many times before, so she should be comfortable there. TODD I really appreciate this. My mother is very important to me. PENELOPE That must be especially true since your father died five years ago. TODD It is. We've grown much closer in the last five years. PENELOPE I wish my mom and I were close. I hope someday we will be, but without my dad having to die first. TODD That would be nice. PENELOPE But now that we've talked about your thing, there's something I want to talk about. TODD Well, we're already talking, so it should be easy. PENELOPE I got an e-mail today with pictures of you kissing another woman. How could you do this to me, Todd? TODD That's impossible! You're the only woman I've ever kissed. PENELOPE Cheating is one thing, but I hate liars! I hate you! She stands up, opens a kitchen drawer, and pulls out a knife. PENELOPE I'm going to cut off your thing. You cheated on me two years ago, and I swore I wouldn't let it happen again. I've been remembering the moment I caught you ever since. It was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. TODD Calm down, Penelope. It's not what you think. Can I see the pictures? I'm sure there's an explanation. PENELOPE I deleted the pictures. TODD Then I can't defend myself. I don't even know if it was me in the pictures. PENELOPE I don't know either. There's no way to know for sure. They were digital pictures, so they could have been faked. TODD Who would send you fake pictures of me kissing another woman? PENELOPE One of your enemies. You do have a lot of enemies. TODD That's true, I do. I'm a very unpopular person. I've had to fire a lot of my employees lately. I hate doing it, and it makes me feel terrible. I always try to think of a nice way to do it, but it's hard to look at someone's face when you take away their job. PENELOPE It probably makes you feel like a bad person. TODD Yes, it does. PENELOPE I just realized I'm still holding this knife. She puts the knife down. PENELOPE It sounds like we both have a lot of thinking to do. TODD That's the truth. PENELOPE I'm going to go now. I need time to think. She leaves. TODD takes out his cell phone and places a call. TODD (On phone) Hi, it's Todd. Do I have any messages? I do? What are they? Bert wants to have a meeting on Friday? What about? The new cubicles? Okay, set up the meeting. What else? Yes, I can do lunch with Frank and Patricia on Monday. Did they say where? Leopold's? Okay. Anything else? My son's birthday is coming up soon, that's right. I'm going to get him a soccer ball. I always enjoyed soccer when I was his age. I hope he enjoys it too. Okay, thank you, I'll talk to you later. Good-bye. TODD ends the call, then leaves the room.